Romance - Can It Last?
I'm a sucker for romance. I love movies where boy meets girl, boy loses girl and, against all odds, they find their way back to each other. Or films about star-crossed lovers, as in Bridges of Madison County, who return to their separate lives forever changed.
In real life, though, I have learned to be wary of my own longing to be swept away. It's fun being pursued by an ardent admirer and flattering to be wined and dined in style. But after a few months I ask myself if all this attention leads to anything more than a romp (or two) in bed.
In spite of changing times men are still the hunters – they like to give chase and use all their wiles to win the women they desire. They may want to develop a long-term relationship but sometimes it's the thrill of the chase they enjoy most of all.
Women, on the other hand, can be lured by romance itself. We want the whole fantasy – usually in the form of an attractive, charismatic man who is more successful than us – and that includes "happily ever after."
In a new relationship we believe a man when he claims to miss us and how he'll do anything to keep us in his life. If we are physically intimate with him, those potent love chemicals (like pheromones) kick in, making him even more desirable. We offer him our bodies and our hearts. If things have moved too quickly, we may find that the man we are starting to love is no knight. If he wears armour, it is to protect himself, and as complications arise he may very well jump on his horse and ride away.
I find that it takes at least six months to get to know someone. In courtship a man will show you what he assumes you want to see and will do everything in his power to keep your interest. It is difficult for you to judge how sincere he really is.
Here are a few ways to tell if your romance will last:
1. What his actions say
The proof is not in what he SAYS but in what he DOES. Does he call when he says he will? Is he punctual? He may say that he loves you, but does he give you importance in his life... or do things like watching football with the boys get a higher priority?
Too many women make excuses for their men and accept bad behaviour. The truth is, his actions always speak for him. You just need to listen.
2. He pays attention to you
Does he recall how you take your coffee, know your favourite cuisine, and just where you need your back rubbed? Is he quick to offer assistance when you need help or do you have to ask him repeatedly before he steps in? A man who really cares about you will use every opportunity to show it.
3. Who is the focus of conversation?
Do your conversations usually center around him and his concerns? An interested man wants to know everything about you, from how your day went to what is currently on your mind. Does he sound bored or disinterested when you discuss your work or relationship problems? Not a good sign!
Beware, too, of someone who puts you down to build himself up. No matter how "helpful" he appears, pay attention to how his comments make you feel.
4. How he treats others
How does he treat his co-workers, family members, or a stranger asking for directions? Pay particular attention to how he speaks to people who are serving him, such as a waitress in a restaurant. Is he polite or arrogant and condescending? Ouch! This is his true character peeking through.
5. You consider him your friend
Is he only a lover? Or can you turn to him when you need a shoulder to lean on? Romance with friendship at its core has a much greater chance for success.
In the grips of romance, it is easy to be lured by extravagant outings or gifts. However, a man who constantly tries to impress is usually insecure and unable to connect at a deeper level. One day the novelty of getting to know each other will fade and you will be left with each other. What becomes important is how likable your man really is and how honestly you can communicate with each other.
For me romance can only last if I perceive my partner as a confident and considerate person whom I can trust. He must prove that he cares by his actions, whether he calls just to hear the sound of my voice or makes time for me in his hectic schedule.
With the right man, I feel loved and appreciated – and that's fertile ground for romance.
About The Author
Copyright 2004 by Thelma Mariano
Thelma Mariano, life coach and author, is dedicated to bringing clarity and direction to people's lives. See her on-line coaching programs, articles and column at http://www.u-unlimited.ca.
Related Articles:
Outskirts Press announces Different Visions of Love, the Latest Highly-anticipated Christianity - History - Social Issues Book from Thornhill Author B
Outskirts Press, Inc. has published Different Visions of Love: Partnership and Dominator Values in Christian History by Brian Griffith, which is the author's most recent book to date. The 6 x 9 Paperback in the Christianity - History - Social Issues category is available worldwide on book retailer websites such as Amazon and Barnes & Noble for a suggested retail price of $17.95. The webpage at www.outskirtspress.com/briangriffith was launched simultaneously with the book's publication.
Robbins Bros. Valentine's Day Engagement and Proposal Survey Results - Love is in the Air
When to propose? Where to propose? What about the ring? The questions are endless when you're planning on popping the big question. Robbins Bros., World's Biggest Engagement Ring Store®, offers food for thought before you pop the question this Valentine's Day
If You Love Poker, You're Invited to Build Your Free Gin Rummy Bankroll with a No Deposit Freeroll
PlayGamesWinCash.com is offering online gamers a chance to build a free online Gin Rummy Bankroll by playing in a special, no deposit, $100 New Player Kalooki Freeroll.
If You Love Expresso...
Things have certainly changed regarding coffee today. Gone are the simple cups at the local diner. Now, coffee is high tech and high design. Try the local coffee shop and the variety available is amazing, and the star among them is expresso. Everyone seems to love the unique combination of strong coffee with the silky smooth cream blended in. Add to that the wonderful flavored syrups that can be added and you know what they are talking about when they talk about designer coffee drinks. If you feel like one of these specialty coffees, you sure don't have to go out of your way anymore to get one. Every decent coffee shop or coffee bar now can give you exactly what you want. In fact, coffee bars are becoming all the rage and people are spendin...
Efficient Love? CEO Applies Efficiency Models to the Concept of Love - Couples Live Happily Ever After with New Relationship Advice
Robert Goodman, CEO and MBA, has applied efficiency models to the concept of love in a new book ?Efficient Love.? Goodman?s relationship advice (www.EfficientLove.com) leads individuals from ?Happily Here and Now? to ?Happily Ever After.?
Improve Your Love Luck with Feng Shui!
Are you tired of looking for love without success? If so, the layout, furnishings, and energy of your home and bedroom could be part of the problem. When the areas of your home affecting your love life are cluttered, missing from your floor plan, or suffering from sha chi (harmful energy) it can be difficult to find and maintain a good relationship.
Fall in Love with the Cayman Islands
How?s this for history? Christopher Columbus spotted the Cayman Islands in 1503 on a voyage to the New World. In 1586, Sir Francis Drake landed on the islands and named them the Cayman Islands. Since then, many more people have come to the islands and fallen in love with their beauty.
"A New Kind of Love" is Robin Spielberg's 15th CD and Her First of All-Original Work in Eight Years; It is Also Her Most Personal and Expressive Yet
"A New Kind of Love" marks the artist's return to creating the kind of music for which she is most famous: melodic soundtracks for her life journey. Exploring friendships, world beauty, the passage of time and the transitions of seasons, the CD is an intimate listening experience bound to resonate with Spielberg's legions of fans as well as those new to her music.
Pianist/composer Robin Spielberg is coming to Boston area:
5/10 Newburyport, Massachusetts
5/11 Natick, Massachusetts MOTHER'S DAY
See concert details here: http://www.robinspielberg.com/cncr.html
I Love Italian Wine and Food - Reviewing The Whites
I recently finished a wine tour of Italy?s twenty administrative regions, briefly describing each region prior to tasting a representative wine with food, and at least one imported Italian cheese. I enjoyed the experience so much that I plan to repeat it, but only after doing something similar for France and perhaps a few other countries. I am happy enough with Italian wine to continue to drink it for the rest of my days, but there are other wine-producing countries out there, and other wines to drink. I am going to give you a bit of a report on the white wines I encountered on this wine tour, but only after a quick summary of Italian white wines, as if such an endeavor was possible. Look for a similar article on Italian red wines.
Online dating how to use it to find love.
According to statistics, about 40 percents of all singles on the planet are going for online dating. But only a quarter of this great number really find romance and love. Why is it so? Everything is simple... Online dating, as everything in this world, has its rules.
Why Does Everyone Love OPI Nail Polish?
OPI Nail colors have been the desire for every woman to have on their nails. OPI Nail polish is considered by many to be of the finest quality money can buy to have your hand and feet decorated with.
Give the Gift of Love and the Gift of Life with the Clay DuBose CD Single "Captivated" Benefiting the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc
From Valentine's Day 2007 through Mother's Day 2007, all proceeds for the Clay DuBose music single "Captivated" will benefit the national fight against breast cancer.
Love with Wholesale Kids Clothing
Are you having problems on spending some time with your kid? Is it because of your work time? Yeah I know that you?re doing everything for the sake of your kid?s welfare, but spending less time with them has its consequences. But there are many ways of bonding with your kid, how about buying them some gifts such as clothing? I know that you don?t have the time for it, but there is some online shop that sells fashionable clothing line that will sure to make your kid happy, and one of those online shop that sell this kinds of clothing line is the wholesale kids clothing. The wholesale kids clothing, a branch of Seven Wholesale, is an online shop that deals with fashionable wholesale kids clothing such as rocawear, ecko, sean john kids, gunit,...
To Learn Guitar, You Must Love To Practice
There are few people in the world that can pick up a skill immediately and become a master without taking the time to practice. We generally consider these people to be geniuses or prodigies. For the rest of us, mastering a new skill takes a lot of time and a lot of effort. It also takes a lot of dedication because sometimes the time lag between starting and becoming proficient can seem entirely too long.
Recovering From A Romance Or Dating Scam (Part 2)
If you have experienced a romance scam before,you know that the experience is a bad one to have.